Anger management

Anger management. I never seems to have a problem like this in the past. People are surprised that I even raise my voice. This year, too many times, I lost my temper. Told passengers off when I was still flying. Shouted at my maid quite a few times. Lost my temper at someone who loves me a great deal yesterday. I don't like all this. I feel bad after losing my temper. Really really bad. I hate to be shouted at. That's why I never like to raise my voice because I know no one in this world will also like to be shouted at. i must admit I started drinking a lot this year. And started to smoke quite a ridiculous amount of cigarettes now. There are many other factors. New job is also affecting me. Many things I just don't understand. Filing papers, organizing my own timetable, learning new things everyday, travelling up and down Singapore in the harsh weather in a concrete jungle hunting for destination. It's not that I cannot take it. I told myself I must be someone who enjoys my new job even though it's tough, so that it does not feels like a job. I sometimes only get 4-5 hours sleep a day.

I keep asking myself why can people do it while I can't. Can get very frustrating. It's a new path I chose. I will not regret. And i will work harder towards it. I just hope I don't have anymore flare up.